The Passion of the Weiss

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick. But most of the time, I don't rhyme.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Overweight Husband Bemoans King of Queens Cancellation

By Chuck Fitzpatrick

When I woke up up this morning, I was struck by the horrible realization that this is the first morning of the rest of my life without the King of Queens. Sure, I knew the day would eventually come, but I guess in the back of my mind I never believed that the network suits would actually go through with it. And yet, today I woke up and lo and behold, the jelly doughnuts weren't as sweet, the sun wasn't as as bright, the mail wasn't delivered as promptly.

They say that bad things come in threes and as if last night's disaster wasn't harsh enough, this morning I read an article that hinted that According to Jim and The George Lopez Show might get the ax too. Et tu, ABC? Et Tu? Where in God's name will I be able to go to tune into the lovable follies of an overweight man and his encounters with his very hot sitcom wife and their eccentric but kind-hearted neighbors and children. Thanks, network executives, for killing all my role models.

Every so often, a figure emerges that claims to be the spokesman for a generation. Indeed, The King of Queens provided a thirty minute safe haven each week, for a generation of heavy-set males to dream of snagging the chick that played Stacey Carosi on Saved by the Bell despite our clogged arteries, four chins, and low-paying bureaucratic jobs. And hell, after being forced to watch Roseanne all through the 90s, it felt good to dream big (though not literally).

Farewell Sweet King , You Shall Never Be Forgotten
Today a new world rears its ugly head and life seems to have no direction. 205 episodes, nine years, and one Emmy nomination later, it's been a wild ride. I remember those early days like it was yesterday, those periods when I foolishly that I might get tired of watching Honeymooners episodes poorly updated for the present. Yet I'll be damned if bowling jokes never get old. The critics can have their Arrested Developments or their Freeks and Geeks, I'll take a bored housewife calling her husband fat every single time.

The King might be Dead, but believe me, I'll be looking elsewhere for a new hero, for a new role model, one with a similarly unrestrained waistline and a knack for making killer fart jokes. Hell, I already have some ideas in mind. As Hendrix once said, somewhere a king has no wife, but somewhere else, the wind cries I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

MP3: Run DMC-"Down with the King"
MP3: Pharoahe Monch-"Queens"


At 1:46 PM, Blogger travis said...

The dirty things I'd do to that wife on George Lopez's show....

At 5:22 PM, Blogger douglas martin said...

my parents love the king of queens, but i think this cancellation is not going to affect them at all, because they only watch the syndicated reruns, anyway.

At 2:45 AM, Blogger Scott said...

the beauty of tv in this modern age is that as long as a series hits that magic number of 88 episodes (an antiquated notion even today, as Arrested Development only did 53), they can gain syndication rights. And so long as a show ascertains that, they'll be forever remembered, traversing smaller cable networks, to nick at night, and eventually getting air time from 3-6 am on every major channel someday. Speaking of AD, check out Clark and Michael...CBS has plugged cash into Arrested Development's Michael Cera (George Michael Bluth), and his web series should be a smash hit., or go to youtube and type in clark and michael. May 26th it officially drops- check it out, it's hilarious.

Good writing yet again, Weiss. Word.


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