The Passion of the Weiss

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick. But most of the time, I don't rhyme.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Coachella: 2007:

Sadly, Vigo the Carpathian was not there. But he may have been the only celebrity not sweltering in the desert this weekend mingling gleefully with the Los Angeles cluberati: 27 year-old trust funders, scattering shirt-less from bar to bar, tatted up and bandanna'd, scheming on 18-year old girls giggling noxiously in Marc Jacobs sun-dresses. This was the scene inside the sprawling VIP grounds at Coachella last weekend, where by hook or crook, I finagled my way into the epicenter of the madness. After all, I am a journalist, a hired geek and one of the five members of the LA Times Buzz Blog team, (who somehow covered practically every single act in three days).

Throughout throughout the duration of the weekend, the only thought that manifested inside my head when asked whether I was enjoying the festival, was to point to the circus going on inside the closed-to-the-public circus tents and start babbling about Ghostbusters II and how I was reasonably sure that there was a river of molasses-thick evil pink sludge bubbling directly underneath the VIP area.

You're probably thinking to yourself, but what about the music? Surely, the greater majority of festival-goers weren't VIP. Of course, that's true. But Coachella in the year 2007 isn't about the music. It's become a celebrity sideshow, another excuse for bold-faced names and the rich kids who love them to rent outlandish homes in the desert, booze endlessly and sneer at burly black-clad Rage fans and the endless plebe lines for port-a-potties. It's the sort of place where living legends like Willie Nelson would drop one of the five best sets of the festival and a large percentage of the crowd could've cared less, more interested in rubber-necking at the sight of Cameron Diaz eating a Spicy Tuna Roll while sipping on a Cosmo.

Jesus and the Very Lame
Coachella 2007 was the Jesus and Mary Chain finally re-uniting, delivering a scorched-earth set with apocalyptic fury then squandering their goodwill just minutes later, by towing a screeching Scarlett Johannson on-stage, to coo a few painfully bad backing vocals on "Just Like Honey," deer-in-the-headlights expression frozen shut on her face.

Coachella 2007 was Girl Talk pressing the space bar and turning a tiny tent into a massive dance party, with everyone having the time of their lives. Then at the apex of the set, Paris Hilton trolls on-stage, leaving a trail of pink sludge behind her, dancing along to the beat, doing her best to look "fabulous," while disgusted on-lookers did their best to stop from retching. Coachella 2007 was Hilton and even lamer cohort, Lindsay Lohan gawking from the side of the stage at Arcade Fire, doing their best to try to pretend like they're all hip and with it, because omg!!! Arcade Fire are like so totally awesome, right?

Expect belated write-ups on all the acts in the coming days and maybe even a surprise concert review or two). Either way, after three days of insane traffic jams, $6 slices of pizza, and doing my best not to start screaming at the VIP cabal that LCD Soundsystem was about to drop the set of their lifetimes while they were catching The Red Hot Chili Peppers for the 4th time, I'm beat and in no mood to avoid trying not to get sued for slander. Tune in mid-afternoon tomorrow. In the meantime, listen to Ray Parker Jr. tell it like it is.

MP3: Ray Parker Jr.-"Ghostbusters"


At 11:35 PM, Blogger Ian said...

I can't tell what's worse: discussing music with my parents or discussing music with people my age who are several months (or even years) behind the times. In 2007, no one should be saying "that Arcade Fire is the real deal." Or claiming that you were the only one of your friends who had the idea to miss out on the Chili Peppers to see LCD Soundsystem. Don't ask me whether I've ever heard of this "Hot Chip band...they're really tight!" Please do not justify Kings Of Leon's existence.

Obviously, that's not directed at you, Weiss...this is just a compilation of bullshit I have to hear at work.

At 11:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i had fun. I had a wrist band for VIP one day from a friend. It was pretty silly in there and I didn't feel very important. favorites from the festival:

hot chip, grizzly bear, LCD, Interpol, Bjork, Jesus and Mary Chain, !!!, Jose Gonzalez and Arcade Fire.

see any of those? I've seen the vast majority of them in normal clubs and I must say I prefer a club/theater to a festival anytime but it was still fun to see all that at once.

Air was terrible

At 1:36 PM, Blogger Duke said...

the last time i went to coachella (i've skipped the last two) the VIP area was more crowded and miserable than the non-VIP area. the celebrity presence this year (and specifically - the fact that so many z-list celebs were visible from the stages) will probabaly guarantee that bands like the white stripes, radiohead and the pixies never play it again. can you imagaine thom yorke's reaction if he looked back and saw paris hilton dancing on the stage? hopefully they keep that nonsense in check in the future...

At 9:14 PM, Anonymous sister said...

i agree with you all.. when are you going to come by for your money. I am going to the SilverLake Music Fest & USC on Friday. I can drop it by then.


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