The Passion of the Weiss

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick. But most of the time, I don't rhyme.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Fueled By NAMBLA Sales, Rich Boy Debuts At #1

With an estimated 50,000 copies purchased by members of NAMBLA, the eponymous debut from Rich Boy scored the #1 slot on the Soundscan charts last week, moving approximately 250,000 units total. While some have decried the unsavory politics of the North American Man/Boy Love Association, America's chief pedophile defense organization, others maintain that Rich Boy and men who love to kiss boys are a perfectly natural pairing considering the ever-increasing ties between mainstream hip-hop and homo-eroticism at large. One such proponent of the link was NAMBLA president, Chester "The Molester" Rollins.

"When I first saw the album cover, I knew this was something that would interest our membership," Rollins said. "All of our members love rich boys. Not to say that we don't love poor boys too, but coupled with that oh-so-sexy cover shot of Rich Boy without his shirt off, this is an album that we knew our roster needed to jump on. Literally and figuratively."

Vance Miller, Rich Boy's A&R for Interscope Records seemed little troubled by Rich Boy's burgeoning child molester fan base.

"Hey if child molesters want to support a talented artist like Rich Boy, we're all for it. Sure, it's a little weird that they want to cornhole an underage boy or two or 37, but hey, at least they don't download music illegally. That's the real crime," Miller said.

How About We Throw Some Talent On That Bitch, Instead?

Arthur Fenster IV, a media critic, adjunct professor at Cal-State Chico and self-proclaimed "hip-hop scholar" expressed little surprise at NAMBLA's adoption of Rich Boy as their new favorite hip-hop artist.

"To be honest, I'm surprised NAMBLA hasn't been more involved in hip-hop before," Fenster IV said. "From 50 Cent, to Ja Rule to L'il Wayne, it isn't a real hip-hop album if it doesn't involve a young muscular black man oiled up and shirtless posing next to an expensive car. Rich Boy is simply the latest in a proud tradition of homo-eroticism in hip-hop that stretches back all the way to 2002."

Rich Boy himself seemed similarly non-plussed by the discovery of his NAMBLA fan-base.

"Damn right NAMBLA know Rich Boys and they know who's the greatest reppin' all us Rich Boys," Rich Boy said. "I don't give a fuck who likes my music as long as I get paid. Throw some dollars on that bitch! More Money + More Rims=Good."

Though some naysayers predicted that the NAMBLA members would be disappointed, Chester "The Molester" Rollins, NAMBLA president spoke for the organization when he said that they are pleased with the album.

"From the name Rich Boy, to "Throw Some D's" to "Boy Look Here," to "Good Things" to "And I Love You" to "Touch That Ass" to my personal favorite,"Role Model" this album has homo-eroticism for days," Rollins said. "You best believe I'll throw some D's on that bitch! And I'm not talking rims."

Download:
MP3: Rich Boy-"Throw Some D's Remix" (Feat. Lil' Jon, Andre 3000, The Game, Jim Jones & Murphy Lee)

Bonus: The Extremely Weird, Horrifically Off-Putting, But Rather Hilarious Remix Video By Kanye West

4 Comments:

At 3:29 PM, Blogger skinny said...

what no Poe Boy/Jacki-O joke?

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger Dj Triple Threat said...

Arthur Fenster IV
==========

Clowners.

 
At 1:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dawg you soooo offf on all that.

i bet if you met him you'd ask for a picture/autograph.

bietch!

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger It was written said...

hilarious

 

Post a Comment

<< Home