The 10 Reasons Why Amy Winehouse Really Canceled Her Show At Spaceland
So I'm pissed. Surprise Surprise. But for once, I have a legit reason. You see last night, I was supposed to have attended a Spaceland performance from the much hyped, big voiced walking disaster known as Amy Winehouse. Granted, Winehouse doesn't make the type of music I normally get down with, but for major label pop music, I can't deny that Winehouse's sophomore album, Back in Black is pretty solid. It's not the sort of thing I'm about to bump in my car anytime soon, but it's pleasant, melodic and the girl's voice is undeniably monstrous. Plus, any girl who brags about refusing to go to rehab and bitching about scavenger smokers who smoke up all their weed is a-ok in my book.
Or so I thought until last night, when Winehouse bailed at the last minute, another not-so-shocking example of her lack of professionalism. Indeed, over the past few weeks her big-coming-out tour has been plagued by last minute cancellations, see London a few weeks ago, SXSW last week (where she canceled on the Brooklyn Vegan show, among others), and now Spaceland, where the official reason given by her publicist was: "Amy didn't believe the Spaceland stage was big enough to accommodate her band."
I call bullshit, considering large bands like The Arcade Fire and The Parson Redheads never had a problem with the stage at Spaceland being too small. And it's not like Winehouse really needs a 10-person band backing her at all times. I'm sure someone in the band would've been cool hanging backstage with a blunt and passing the time away just fine. I'm not sure why Winehouse didn't just come out and say that the dog ate her fucking homework, which might have been the only excuse less believable than "the stage isn't big enough." Which didn't seem to be a problem the night before at the equally intimate Roxy, where Winehouse performed and posed with celebrities all night long With that in mind, I present:
The Top 10 Reasons Why Amy Winehouse Really Canceled Her Show At Spaceland
10. Her Weed Got Lost In Her Marge Simpson Beehive and she refused to perform sober.
9. Her Shangri-La's Tape Got Misplaced on the Flight From Austin and she forgot who to imitate.
8. A cocaine epiphany at 4:00 a.m. prompted her to immediately fly back to London to be Bat-Mitzvah'd. Again.
7. Had to help re-dye Perez Hilton's hair a lighter shade of pink.6. She heard from Britney about a great tattoo parlor in Tarzana.
5. Decided to take Ghostface up on his offer to run trains at the Days Inn.
4. Pete Doherty had climbed ahead of her in the official British rankings of Musicians Who Double As Natural Disasters.
3. She realized she hadn't eaten in 13 days. Oops.
2. Elvira called and told her she wanted her look back.
1. They tried to make her go to rehab. Maybe next time, she ought to say "yes, yes, yes."
MP3: Amy Winehouse-"Rehab"
MP3: Amy Winehouse-"Back To Black."