Hipster Stylewatch: Strange Things Are Afoot At The Troubadour
Fucking hipsters. You've done it again. Just when I think that I've got my pulse on the burgeoning hipster trends of this fine metropolis (beards, blazers, cheap plastic glasses, the ocasional Rollie Fingers mustache) you guys do something that to quote Bob Dylan, "blows my mind most bitterly."
The other night, I was at the Serena Maneesh concert with non-other than blogger/pigskin pundit/Hollywood big-wig to be, Ian Cohen, analyzing the profoundly strange demographics of the show. The concert turned out to be a slight disappointment, especially compared to this March's stellar Spaceland performance), so there was much time to scan the crowd. Accordingly, who knew that going to a Norweigian shoe-gazer/space rock show would draw such a motley array of freeks, geeks and the ocassional dweeb. (insert joke here). Yet out of this wack-pack, I unearthed the newest species of hipster. Yes, I discovered a hipster who had gone as far as to cultivate the Ron Jeremy look.
Now, the idea of hipsters cultivating the look of a famous person is nothing new. One only needs to turn to cinematic classic Fast Times at Ridgemont High to recall that there were at least four girls at Ridgemont cultivating the "Pat Benatar look." But for the love of God, who would actively seek to look like Ron Jeremy. Apparently, the retard standing to the right of me at the show, clad in a ruffled floral dress shirt, red and white cowboy boots, 30 lbs. of excess flab and a dead rat splayed dead on his upper lip (I presume it was a mustache). It was too much to handle
The guy looked exactly like Jeremy and yet it clearly wasn't Jeremy. It was eerie. Not Eeerie, like the ill-fated Fox television show, Eerie, Indiana, but more eerie as in, this guy is probably two drinks away from propositioning every girl in the bar with the line: "nice shoes wanna' fuck." Creepy.
On one hand, part of me wants to condemn this surely soon-to-be ubiquitous /hilarious trend, after all, Ron Jeremy looks like Ron Jeremy because he's a trashy gluttonous porn star, not because he's an upper middle class white kid with a trust fund and a 10-hour a week job as a graphic designer. However, on some level, I think it's sort of awesome that people can be so desperate for an identity that they feel the need to grab onto a washed-up porn star whose "hedgehog," nickname is easily the most appropriate alias since the Ol' Dirty Bastard.
Well played, hipsters. Well played. But the buck must stop here. Please guys...no porn star ponytails. I just don' t think I can handle it. My capacity for mockery might just short-circuit.
The Future of Hipsters: Behold The Ponytail!
First things first....Gerard Vs. Bear is the best new blog on the Internet. Go there now and read his post about how upset he is that Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance shares the same name as Gerard the blogger.
Another music blog to check that just popped up on my horizon is Cigar Box Guitars. Any blog that mentions the Wu and the Decemberists in consecutive posts is A-okay in my book. Plus, check their interview with the producer Blockhead, one of the most underrated talents in music and the mastermind behind the best album you've never heard, The Party Fun Action Committee's "Let's Get Serious."
Josh Levin's outstanding Slate article taking down the wildly overrated Zach Braff might just contain the best line written on the Internet this year: "If Zach Braff is the voice of my generation, can't someone please crush his larynx."
Jam Bands.Com has an article about why so many Deadheads were/are Jewish. It fails to mention my theory: the only way for many Jews to minimize their anxiety/neuroses is by smoking weed. Marijuana might not be a gateway drug to harder drug use but it certainly leads to liking the Dead and Pink Floyd.
Last week, Stylus ran a very good feature on record shops in the United States. I handled the Los Angeles entries, Amoeba Records, Rockaway Records and my personal favorite, Echo Park's Sea Level Records, where you may or may not see someone looking like Ron Jeremy.