The Passion of the Weiss

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick. But most of the time, I don't rhyme.

Monday, August 14, 2006

They're Cleaning Out Their Closet

Let's play a game, it's called pretend you're the CEO of the GAP, one of America's most well-known retail brands. And let's say that your stock has been torn to shreds over the past few years as your firm has seen its net income and revenues stay flat. What do you do?

Well, apparently, the answer to the question is Fall Out Boy. Yes, Fall Out Boy, a fact which I noticed as I drove through Los Angeles this morning and was treated to the GAP's newest ad campaign, featuring 50 foot high billboard images of Pete Wentz, currently the lamest rock star in America (stay quiet Brandon Flowers, you're number two).

I'm not sure how on earth GAP thinks that making Fall Out Boy their spokesmodel is going to rehab their image and lagging sales. Doesn't Hot Topic already have the fey Goth/emo demographic on lockdown? Besides, GAP isn't exactly losing out on that market, they're losing out on the kids that have decided to buy into the evil empire of Abercrombie & Fitch and their low-budget Mexican equivalent, American Eagle.

Needless to say, I used to know people that worked at GAP and even they'd make jokes about the company's acronym (gay and proud). And having Pete Wentz as your spokesmodel doesn't exactly burnish their credentials as a hetero-friendly firm.

Obviously, there's nothing wrong with GAP trying to get all fabulous. More power to them. But I have a feeling the suits at the head of the company didn't have the faintest idea that they might as well have gotten Lance Bass to be their new spokesmodel. I can just see it now...their big shot VP of marketing, in his lavish corner office, thinking to himself "hmm..the kids seem to love these Fall Out Boys...I used to like punk rock....these kids are punk rock...I wonder if we can get them to be our new models. They'd really hit our key demos."

But instead of edgy, they get the exact opposite: a straight-edged bassist from a crappy emo band who was humiliated earlier this year for posing completely nude with a poster of Morrissey in the background. Add that to the fact that on the billboards Wentz looks like he's about to proposition a young sailor boy and essentially, one can conclude that GAP has come out of the closet. It's okay GAP, there's no shame in it. Be proud of who you are, Everyone is ready to accept you. But it is 2006 and you're not fooling anyone at this point. The jigs up.


At 7:47 PM, Blogger Duke said...

did you hear about the controversy with AOL releasing a bunch of their users' search data? according to the wall street journal, the #1 search for nude celebs was for this fall out kid. not just male celebs, all celebs. either there are a lot of horny teenage girls, or a lot of gay emo fans....

At 8:15 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

that's the most disturbing thing I've heard in a while.


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