Owen Wilson Misses Old Self
Despite his status as one of
“Who has the time to read scripts anymore? Why would I have bothered to read the script for You Me and Dupree? The movie hits theaters today and I still don’t even know what it’s about. I'm sure it's hilarious. Maybe I should write my own scripts again. That worked well in the past. I wonder what Wes is up to."
“I don’t see anything wrong with the films that Owen’s doing. I think they’re fantastic. Seriously. I’d kill to get a role like You, Me and Dupree. They don’t write romantic comedies the way they used to. Have you heard about my new film, My Super Ex-Girlfriend? The less there is to say thge better. Hell, If it wasn't for the Old School sequel, I can't begin to think of a movie I'm starring in that anyone would want to see. Thank god, that gimmick won't get old. Not at all.”
Luke Wilson isn't the only man in Hollywood with faith in his brother. Barry Schwartz, Owen's attorney, had stern words for his clients’ critics.
"So-called intellectuals will never understand the genius of movies like You, Me and Dupree and likely never will. It’s a real movie for real Americans. Plus, Owen got paid $10 million. That's not bad.” Schwartz chuckled insidiously. “Owen’s one of the biggest box office stars in the world. No one even knew who he was when he was making smart and sophisticated comedies like Bottle Rocket or Rushmore. Who wants to see movies about small-time criminal losers or aspiring playwrights? People want to see movies about a wacky guy named Dupree moving in with Kate Hudson and Matt Dillon. Rest assured, hi-jinks will ensue.”
But sometimes in the darkest reaches of night, when there isn't a playmate within sight, Wilson admits to be being disappointing in his unprecedented streak of 11 straight average to below-average films: You, Me, and Dupree, Cars, Meet the Fockers, The Wedding Crashers, The Life Aquatic, Around the World in 80 Days, Starsky & Hutch, The Big Bounce, Shanghai Knights, I Spy and Behind Enemy Lines.
"Sometimes, I just can't believe it. It's me, O-Town, The Butterscotch Stallion, O-O-Rama. How is it that I haven’t been in a good movie in five years? I was so funny playing Hansel too. Oh well. That's that. I’m gonna’ go play ping-pong now and after I’m done, maybe I’ll call up one of the bunnies. For a nightcap, maybe we can roll around in my money bin and dream about what could have been. Ah memories…of the way I was.”