The Passion of the Weiss

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick. But most of the time, I don't rhyme.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Owen Wilson Misses Old Self


Despite his status as one of Hollywood’s go-to-guys for “screwball comedies,” Owen Wilson admits that quite often he misses his old self.

“Man, it seems like it was only yesterday when I was starring in movies that couldn't just be described as "zany." I remember when I first came out to Hollywood. I was cool, young, hilarious, literate. How many other actors could say that they co-wrote Rushmore and Bottle Rocket, and starred in Zoolander, three of the best comedy films in recent memory. It seemed like there was nothing stopping me from becoming one of the finest comic talents of my generation”

But Wilson readily acknowledged the nature of fame and the lack of decent scripts coming his way.


“Who has the time to read scripts anymore? Why would I have bothered to read the script for You Me and Dupree? The movie hits theaters today and I still don’t even know what it’s about. I'm sure it's hilarious. Maybe I should write my own scripts again. That worked well in the past. I wonder what Wes is up to."

Others dont' seem to be bothered by the fact that Wilson hasn’t been in a good movie since 2001. In fact, his brother Luke Wilson thinks Owen is quite doing well.

“I don’t see anything wrong with the films that Owen’s doing. I think they’re fantastic. Seriously. I’d kill to get a role like You, Me and Dupree. They don’t write romantic comedies the way they used to. Have you heard about my new film, My Super Ex-Girlfriend? The less there is to say thge better. Hell, If it wasn't for the Old School sequel, I can't begin to think of a movie I'm starring in that anyone would want to see. Thank god, that gimmick won't get old. Not at all.”


Luke Wilson isn't the only man in Hollywood with faith in his brother. Barry Schwartz, Owen's attorney, had stern words for his clients’ critics.

"So-called intellectuals will never understand the genius of movies like You, Me and Dupree and likely never will. It’s a real movie for real Americans. Plus, Owen got paid $10 million. That's not bad.” Schwartz chuckled insidiously. “Owen’s one of the biggest box office stars in the world. No one even knew who he was when he was making smart and sophisticated comedies like Bottle Rocket or Rushmore. Who wants to see movies about small-time criminal losers or aspiring playwrights? People want to see movies about a wacky guy named Dupree moving in with Kate Hudson and Matt Dillon. Rest assured, hi-jinks will ensue.”

But sometimes in the darkest reaches of night, when there isn't a playmate within sight, Wilson admits to be being disappointing in his unprecedented streak of 11 straight average to below-average films: You, Me, and Dupree, Cars, Meet the Fockers, The Wedding Crashers, The Life Aquatic, Around the World in 80 Days, Starsky & Hutch, The Big Bounce, Shanghai Knights, I Spy and Behind Enemy Lines.

"Sometimes, I just can't believe it. It's me, O-Town, The Butterscotch Stallion, O-O-Rama. How is it that I haven’t been in a good movie in five years? I was so funny playing Hansel too. Oh well. That's that. I’m gonna’ go play ping-pong now and after I’m done, maybe I’ll call up one of the bunnies. For a nightcap, maybe we can roll around in my money bin and dream about what could have been. Ah memories…of the way I was.”

9 Comments:

At 3:21 PM, Blogger Nate said...

damn that hansel...

 
At 6:51 PM, Blogger Reel Fanatic said...

Funny stuff .. I'll probably be dragged to Dupree on Sunday, but I don't have high hopes . but, man, do I love Bottle Rocket

 
At 8:49 PM, Anonymous dan said...

ah dignan. He did have some good plans.

 
At 9:03 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

If Anthony had only listened to him their next 50 years would've been set. Instead, they had to botch the robbery and poor Apple Jack...oh poor Apple Jack.

 
At 1:35 PM, Blogger Douglas Reinhardt said...

What really did happen to Owen Wilson? He stops writing with Wes Anderson and boom, he's hanging out with Woody Harrelson talking about the benefits of wearing hemp pants. If Owen made a movie with his friend, Harry Dean Stanton, like a buddy comedy, all of his respect will return

 
At 1:40 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

He must be getting high all day long, which I obviously respect in a lot of ways, but somehow I'm guessing that doesn't help his ability to pick films. Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson need each other more than Q-Tip and Phife. They had a special chemistry. Witness Life Aquatic. Owen didn't write it with him but Baumbach did. While Baumbach is wildly talented, they obviously just didn't work all that well together. I think that Owen Wilson may have been more influential on those early scripts than people realized. I don't know how else to explain it. It's really weird what happened. Though Woody Harrelson is real cool. I'd wanna' hang with him too.

 
At 7:47 PM, Blogger KaLiBLeeK said...

The Life Aquatic was one of the biggest disappointments ever. I kept waiting for it to get funny...

And waiting...

And waiting...

Then I finally just turned the shit off.

He couldn't even manage to be funny on The Daily Show this week to promote his new film. The bastard.

 
At 8:54 PM, Blogger Douglas Reinhardt said...

I had heard that Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson were going to write a movie together this summer. There's a part of me that hopes they write a stoner comedy; like the pitfalls of still being a stoner with a couple of kids and a mortage or just some weird surreal movie.

Owen Wilson may have been the heart in the first three films where Wes Anderson knows about structure and the set up. Then again, Wes Anderson probably care less about making another good film. He could just make commercials for the rest of his life and live comfortablely in France with his neighbor Roman Polanwski.

 
At 9:14 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

Truth be told, the man does make a damn good commercial.

 

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