The Passion of the Weiss

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick. But most of the time, I don't rhyme.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Link 182


No, this blog will not be about Blink-182, though taking a look at that picture, it's very obvious that Blink 182 established the ideal template for Dipset's peculiar form of "masculinity." For the record, I've always hated Blink-182, but thinking about Angels & Airwaves, Blink-182 lead singer Tom Delonge's side project, gets me sort of excited. Not because it's good. Far from it. But because Delonge has openly discussed trying to emulate the sound of U2. It's like a sarcastic blogger's dream, getting to make fun of Blink-182 AND U2 at the same time. As dumb as Bono is, I'm sure that only Tom DeLonge is capable of writing even more inane lyrics. Poor, Tom DeLonge, how difficult must it be to be the lead singer of a band who can best be described as Green Day for really dumb people, (a difficult task mind you, because Green Day is The Clash for really dumb people).

Before I get to the links, I just want to present what I hope will be a weekly award: The Los Angeles Douchebag of the Week, given to the most narcissistic and self-indulgent person I come across in the abcess known as Los Angeles. (and no, I'm not eligible...so no snide comments). Drumroll please....

Douchbag of the Week:
The guy next to me on the elliptical machine at the gym yesterday. I know, it's lame, I use the elliptical. But I'm a busy man (kinda) and need to multi-task. I can get the entire newspaper read during my workout and if I don't read the newspaper than what will I have to spew invective about? Nothing.

At any rate, this douchebag gets the award for the dance moves that he busted out in the middle of his elliptical routine. I've written about people who do full-on dance moves at the gym before, but have never seen anything like this guy. Not only was he doing your standard "It's Saturday night out and the mood has struck me after six drinks" gym dance. No, he was doing his "I've just taken four tabs of ecstasy and it's really kicking in. Man, this techno music sounds good" dance. Additionally, he also managed to do a type of dance last seen in flamboyant musicals from the 1940s.

I wish this was all an exaggeration. It wasn't. The sickest part about it was when I looked frantically around the gym to see if there someone else who vaguely understood the insanity of the situation, but no one even batted an eye. They just went about their business, as though it was an every day reality. In another city, this man probably would have been diagnosed as schizophrenic. In LA, we release them in the wild, to live, to breathe, and to listen to Paul Oakenfold on the Elliptical.

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming: The Links

1) According to this article in AdWeek, "a small startup animation company, Evil Twin Studios in San Francisco, has an idea: a groovy new virtual club called the Pussycat Dolls Lounge. Kids can build their own virtual characters, make their own virtual small talk, even get kicked out of the virtual club on their virtual asses."

I assume the Los Angeles Version will include virtual cocaine, virtual C-list Hollywood celebrities and $14 drinks. Awesome.


2) Slate examines the origin of the phrase "baby daddy." Who knew that itcould be done. I always thought it was just attributed to ODB or Cash Money. I guess just attribute everything stupid to ODB or Cash Money.


3) This came out almost two weeks ago, but I had to post it. George Bush actually "told a German newspaper that his best moment in more than five years of office was catching a big perch fish in his own lake."

That's so weird. I thought he would've picked when Skippy, the white house unicorn pranced across his window and told him that the hills were alive with the sound of music. I say this not to be funny or weird, but to prove that at this point George Bush is so delusional that if he said something this "divorced from reality" that no one would bat an eyelash.

4) I have to post this for Jones On the NBA ,(which by now should be your first stop for basketball wisdom and Tyrone Biggums pictures). The Onion Headline: "Steve Nash Calls Second Consecutive MVP Award "Some Kind of Some Joke."

What can I add to that, those guys are sharp over there.

5) Webster's defines hipster as this message board (just read it. it explains everything better than I could hope.) via Gawker


6) Apparently and I know this is going to shock some people, but I'm not the only one who hates Dodger stadium and the way they run things over there. This LA Observed post cites a recent Bill Plaschke column and a season ticket holder's letter, that touches on the serial douchebaggery that characterizes the McCourt dynasty here in Los Angeles.

7) So I google the word "rhinestone" because I didn't know the proper spelling of it and this movie comes up: It's a 1984 romantic comedy called "Rhinestone," starring Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton. The plotline is such: "After a big-time country singer brags that she can turn anybody in to a country-singin' star, she's out to prove she can live up to her talk when she recruits a cab-driver as a country singer. He's scheduled to sing at a big-time NYC country night club and she puts her ample powers to work in preparing her protege."

I haven't seen this film but am wondering if anybody has or knows how I can get my hands on a copy (cheaply obviously). And if you have seen it, I would like to know if my initial suspicions are correct: that this is the greatest movie ever made.

8) Has anyone heard the un-released Danger Doom song, "Korndogs." It can be downloaded here. I actually think it would've been the best beat and perhaps the best song off of that album (not counting any song with Doom and Ghostface by default). Did Danger Mouse find it too normal or something? That's my problem with guys like Danger Mouse, Kanye West, etc. I respect their eclecticism, but when being eclectic comes at the expense of making listenable music, you need to stop. You don't need to be weird every time to be good. Especially in a genre like hip-hop where Dr. Dre can still make great beats without having to switch up his formula at all. (This would result in less songs like "Go-Gadget Gospel," off of the St. Elsewhere album, which literally hurts my ears to listen to you. The song's vocals sound like Cee-Lo tried to impersonate a dying cat)

9) 1500 Beverly Hills High School students are getting to see the new Al Gore global warming movie on an entire-school field trip. I
'm not sure if I'm supposed to be really jealous or really angry. (thanks to Marc Fiorentino for pointing this out)


10) Sexy Results breaks down the new Cam'ron album. The verdict: poorly crafted and inconsistent. This isn't too surprising. I'm not sure exactly when it happened but sometime around 2001-2002 the bar suddenly got incredibly low to be considered good in the hip-hop world. "Purple Haze," was a decent album which I enjoyed listening to, but the truth is Cam'ron is just very good for a very bad rapper. I appreciate his trying to go a bit deeper than anyone of the T.I., L'il Wayne ilk, but rapping about irritable bowel syndrome is not cool. Ever. If you still don't believe me, go over to Straight Bangin and download, "He Tried to Play Me." I originally referred to this song being the soundtrack to Scarface if it were being scored by a gang of flamboyant and violent homosexuals. I was wrong. That was much too charitable. It's the sonic equivalent of the movie Glitter, starring Mariah Carey.


11) And last but not least, check out the Crock Tock blog for his take on the best songs from almost every notable rapper of the last 15 years. The Crock Tock blog is also notable for it now officially allows me to be the second angriest blogger I know. He and I were roommates in college. For a taste of the sunshine that we brought to the campus of Occidental College, we once attempted to disprove the notion of God, loudly, while doing a set of bench-press in the weight room. Fun times.

And with that, I'm out. Got an Irving/Little Ones show tonight at the Echo. I'm sure it will be very similar to the words of 2Pac "Ain't Nothin' but a Hipster Party."

5 Comments:

At 1:14 PM, Blogger Joey said...

Totally with you on "Korn Dogs." It's better than most, if not all, of the DangerDoom album.

Thanks for the shout.

The initial description of "He Tried to Play Me" still makes me laugh. That was some, um, powerful humor. Also, I finally read the URB piece on the Dips. First of all, what an odd piece of journalism. I didn't realize that fans were running URB. Second, those quotations about Kanye are wonderful. A "ghettosexual"? Oh my lord...

I'll hoffa!

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

Yeah, the profiles in URB are not really profiles they're sort of like lionization, which just takes on a whole new meaning when Jim Jones and Co. get into the mix. That one article was so amazing its inspired me to start a whole new component of the blog..What I Learned From Each Month's [Insert Music Magazine name here]

Those Kanye quotes needed a web home.

 
At 4:40 PM, Blogger amphimacer said...

Regarding the classic film "Rhinestone": this is not a movie; it is an experience. It is not merely one of the strangest and most awful movies ever made (Sylvester Stallone singing would alone qualify it in this category), it is almost an argument for censorship. As for seeing it (which I do not actually recommend), do not pay anything at all; it's probably on the late, late show on local TV stations now and then. Set your TiVo or whatever (I'm still using a VCR for this sort of thing myself, being too cheap to switch over to a DVD player, given the fourteen-year-old 20-inch screen I'm watching on). The saddest thing is the "ample powers" of Dolly Parton being thrown away by -- well, by Dolly Parton. I say, go back and listen to "Jolene" and don't watch any of the movies she has made ("9 to 5" is not so bad that everyone involved ought to be punished, but pretty much the rest of her cinematic oeuvre is). Simply put, "Rhinestone" is to "Glitter" as The Backstreet Boys rapping are to six tone-deaf teenagers in a car singing along with a tape of Nelly Furtado's "I'm Like a Bird": one is awful because it is artificial, nasty, and stupid, while the other is amateurish, crappy, and moronic. Sometimes, it's hard to choose.

 
At 4:50 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

Wow...what a write-up. Sadly, it only made me want to see this movie more. Stallone sings!! Amazing. Between that and the Colbert Report it's almost enough to make me get cable again.

 
At 6:57 AM, Blogger Spider63 said...

Ellipticals have helped me alot more than treadmills. The exercise is much more intense!

The bad thing about doing cardio at any gym is that you have no control over who gets on next to you. check my blog for some stories.

 

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