The Passion of the Weiss

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick. But most of the time, I don't rhyme.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

When Keeping It Real Goes Right

“Everybody, everybody, let's get into it.
Get stupid.
Get it started, get it started, get it started.
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.”

If you haven’t been hanging out with me lately that’s what I’ve been singing non-stop: The Black Eyed Peas’ “Let’s Get it Started.” Why am I singing it? Because the Black Eyed Peas are all sorts of awesome. And I know that the song’s a bit old but even a deaf man could get down with its devilish groove (mad devilish, yo).

I’ll be honest, I confess that when they first debuted way back in the late 90s, I wasn’t much of a fan of the Peas’ early work. All that talk about how fresh their lyrics were and how real they kept it, it just felt a little contrived, a tad forced. But now with the addition of Fergie for their last two albums, they’ve really begun to hit their creative zenith. And the best part about it is that the world has really begun to take notice of the greatness of the Black Eyed Peas. It’s strange because normally only people who sell-out become incredibly famous out but not the Peas, they’ve kept it real from the get-go.

But just because they keep it so real doesn’t mean that they haven’t attracted their fair share of detractors. Everyone wants to hate on them for changing their songs’ content, adding Fergie to the group, doing tracks with various former boy band members, and performing in a slew of commercials, the Democratic National Convention, the Super Bowl, the Grammy and the Emmys, but if that’s selling out than I’ll damned. I mean, they didn’t do the Tony Awards. THAT would totally be devoid of artistic integrity. I mean, just check out this quote from Peas frontman Will I. Am. defending himself against these unfounded attacks.

“He tells MTV, "We don't do anything that doesn't fit with the music. We kinda lend ourselves to benefits so we did the Democratic National Convention to get people out there to vote. And then we'll do a Best Buy commercial 'cause they sell music. Then we did the first iTunes commercial. We did the NBA 'cause it's like, who's not gonna do the NBA?
"We did the Super Bowl, 'cause who ain't gonna do the Super Bowl? And if they asked you to do two years at the Grammys, you ain't gonna do it? And then we did the Emmys 'cause they said, 'Ain't nobody ever did the Emmys.'
"We're just trying to push boundaries, but a lot of times when you are the first, you get flak for it. People say 'sell-out'. That's one thing I don't get. That's some dumb s**t, because it's like we ain't frontin'. I ain't got crazy gold or being something that I'm not. A sell-out is somebody who's one way with their mom, and then when they with their homies.

Take that haters! And everyone wants to make fun of Fergie for pissing in her pants (see this article here, she actually admits to it towards the bottom of the story), but I think they’re just being mean. I mean haven’t these people seen the classic comedy film, “Billy Madison.” Peeing in your pants is cool and you can consider Fergie, Miles Fucking Davis.

But it’s not just Fergie’s insistence about flouting convention by publicly urinating, because everything about the Black Eyed Peas screams integrity. Take the talented poet Will I. Am’s description of the torments of the creative process that wracked his brain while thinking up the words to the lyric poem, “My Humps.”

“Fittingly, the song stemmed from a conversation Will was having with a friend when a beautiful woman walked by. When the rapper asked, "Whatcha gonna do with all that junk," his friend replied, "You should turn that into a song." He got a second opinion when he crossed paths with the woman again and stopped her.
"I was like, 'Hey, my homeboy told me I'm supposed to make a song about you,' and she said, 'Oh yeah, well how's it supposed to go?' " Will recalled. "I was like, 'What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk?' And she was like, 'That's probably the best pickup line I ever heard.' I was like, 'No, I'm not trying to pick you up!' "

Damn right, that’s the best pick up line she ever heard, because Will I. Am. is a fucking genius, the brightest western mind since Voltaire (take that Benjamin Franklin.)

But the best news I’ve heard in months came yesterday when the Peas announced that they’re going on tour again starting in March (thank God). And the tour has such a creative name too: The 6th Honda Civic Year. Methinks there are going to be a lot of satisfied Pea-podders this springtime.
Even more kickass is that the Peas have created a custom Honda Civic Hybrid featuring metallic paint designs, Peas-themed graphics, XM satellite radio, a special PA system and Dunlop sport tires, among other features. The car will be awarded to a lucky fan at the conclusion of the trek.

How cool is that? Boy, I’m going to pray every night that I’m that lucky fan. I mean, how could any woman resist a guy in a Black Eyed Peas-themed Honda Civic. I wouldn’t just be getting it started in there, I’d be finishing it, AND I’d be getting to see all the ho’s humps (to use the parlance of our times). All I can say is quote Wayne Campbell and just endlessly repeat the phrase: it will be mine…oh yes, it will be mine. Needless to say, come this July, I’ll be rolling on chrome, Black Eyed chrome that is.

Justin Timberlake (I’m not just their collaborator, I’m a fan too)


At 8:24 PM, Anonymous Nate said...

I'm just pissed that they didn't call my uncle to customize their Honda!

At 8:27 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

Fools, they will pay for their indemnities in hell. And who let timberlake on this blog anyway.

At 5:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're just jealous that Fergie was on Kids Incorporated and you werent... it's ok to be jealous.

At 5:11 PM, Anonymous Matt A. said...

Simply stated-your best post yet. I definetly burned between 9 and 11 calories convulsing from irrepressible laughter. The striations in the smooth rock hard muscle of my abs are beggining to show from reading this blog(*note: my abs are neither smooth nor "rock hard." In fact, I can't really say I have "abs.") Still, I wish I took a before and after picture...

At 5:21 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

Thanks Matt and may I add as well that your comment was the best usage of the word striations on this blog thus far


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