The Passion of the Weiss

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick. But most of the time, I don't rhyme.

Friday, December 23, 2005

The Week in Review

Since I'm the only one in America actually working today, I feel compelled to post some holiday stocking stuffers for my readers (I'm so festive it's truly extraordinary). Hopefully, I'll be able to unleash some of my trademark venom (or evil, if you want to be a dick about it) later, but for now, these stories should suffice.

Osama Bin Laden's Niece: Just admit it guys, you'd go to Jihad with her any day of the week.

Proving once again that the only true religion in Los Angeles is paying outlandish amounts of money to be trendy for approximately 15 minutes.

Good for you teenagers of America, who needs cigarettes when Oxycontin is available?

Repeat after me: any story that involves an Estonian accordianist winning a Santa Claus of the Year Contest is hilariously funny.

Strangely enough, top brass in the Bush administration also had similar experiences in childhood.

Note to Coldplay: You will never be The Beatles. Consider yourself lucky if you are regsrded as highly as the Monkees.

Rivers, have you ever considered the fact that the last decent song you ever wrote was when you were...yeah...well...not being a complete celibate freak-show. Just asking.

America takes another heaping helping of gay cowboy. Sequel enters pre-production.

Unsurprisngly, the only person with enough balls to criticize Brokeback is openly gay actor, Nathan Lane. Nathan Lane suddenly becomes deeply okay in my book.

Yeah, this is a huge surprise (as my voice drips with sarcasm)

Can we please impose a moratorium on anyone thinking Jeremy Piven is cool. Because he sucks. He really really sucks.

War on Christmas? Are people that fucking stupid? And then I think of Paris Hilton and understand that yes, people really are that dumb.

Somehow, I'm pretty certain that Cheaper by the Dozen 2 doesn't have a "clever script." Call me crazy.

Back To The Future 4? Suddenly, suicide becomes a slightly less palatable option. There is a reason to live. Happy Christmas!


At 4:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're obviously crazy. "cheaper by the dozen" has an intellectually stimulating script that you would not even come close to comprehending. How can a movie with Hilary Duff not be? Come on now.

At 4:56 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

All I can say is one word: touche

At 6:45 PM, Anonymous Nate said...

I'm also working today, so ha!

At 10:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh passionate one. Reading your blogs, I think I am inlove with you. Will you marry me?

At 10:54 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

Depends on the size of the dowry...will I receive chickens and/or cows

At 5:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you will receive BOTH, and i may even throw in a llama if youre lucky.

At 2:34 PM, Blogger Ty said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 2:36 PM, Blogger Ty said...

Here's a brilliant article you missed, just skip down to the 8th graph:


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