The Passion of the Weiss

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick. But most of the time, I don't rhyme.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I Wanna Talk to Samson!


A lot of people want to unfairly malign Kevin Federline. Sure, he can't rap, has no money, skills nor any form of discernible talent. But you know what he is, a fucking genius. Federline went from being an unemployed back-up dancer to the husband of the one of the 10 most famous women in America. That's the most movin' on up, I've seen since a little show called "The Jeffersons" tickled my fancy when I was a young lad. Okay, so I never actually watched "The Jeffersons" but you get the point.

Today, the NY Post ran a story that painted Federline to be a horrible husband, human being, father, etc. Naturally, these vile gossip monkeys feel the compelling urge to paint everyone in a horrible light (I have proof, damnit). However, if you read between the lines of this woeful tale, you can get the clear picture of Federline, the savant, the artist, the embodiment of the American Dream.

The story begins by discussing how things have gone from bad to worse in Britney and Cleatus' marriage (everyone make sad faces with me now...). But why are things going bad with this young and supremely intelligent couple. Well, the Post has the scoop.

A spy in Spears' camp told PAGE SIX, "She is trying to repossess the $200,000 Ferrari she bought him. She is sick and tired of his partying ways and the constant flow of complete drug addicts coming in and out of her house."
The fight that led to Spears booting Federline from their home reportedly began over his having his "weedman" — or pot dealer — over to the house and hanging around their newborn son, Sean Preston.


Drug addict? Drug Addict? Do they not understand that Federline is a wise man who craves the soothing narcotic, marijuana. The drugs opens his eyes to the infinite pleasures of reality, inspires him creatively and makes him an all-around dope MC (if you don't know, please check out his skills him on the mic.)

"I'm not your brother/ I'm not your uncle, I'm Daddy do/ Steppin' in this game and y'all ain't got a clue/My prediction is that y'all are gonna hate/On the style we create, straight 2008/But I know that you really can't wait"

The problem is that the Post doesn't get his style. It's straight 2008. How could anyone fathom his style if it's three years in the future. In three years, everyone will be taking their weedman around their baby. Duh.

Everyone's being a bit too hard on "Daddy" Federline. They clearly do not know the relationship that a pothead has with his weedman. It's a relationship of mutual symbiosis (I'm sure they employ this phrase as well). How is Federline supposed to live if he's cut off from his weedman. He will go creatively, morally and spiritually bankrupt. It's the potential coming of the apocalypse. Do Britney and the NY Post not get it? No, of course they don't. No one fucking gets it. They're just gonna' hate. They're totally just going to hate. It must be difficult being a visionary.

7 Comments:

At 3:47 PM, Anonymous slavkandyba said...

Cleatus should've hired a ghostwriter and made millions. Now, he's a just a clown on PAGE SIX. Duh.

 
At 6:05 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

Federline needs no ghostwriter. The spirit of the muse runs thick in his blood. Do not disparage his fine name. Straight 2008...Straight 2008

 
At 6:05 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

Federline needs no ghostwriter. The spirit of the muse runs thick in his blood. Do not disparage his fine name. Straight 2008...Straight 2008

 
At 6:05 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

Federline needs no ghostwriter. The spirit of the muse runs thick in his blood. Do not disparage his fine name. Straight 2008...Straight 2008

 
At 10:32 PM, Blogger Nate said...

Cleatus ain't got nothin on Fred Durst. He's a lyrical genius! Straight 2010, my nig!

 
At 11:37 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

The Durst is good but the Federline landed Britney, Durst just got dissed. The winner of this round: Federlizey!

 
At 7:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No matter how crazy the K-Fed gets, the pavaroti's still care.

 

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