The Passion of the Weiss

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick. But most of the time, I don't rhyme.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Fill Me Up With Petrol, Post-Haste

Now I certainly know that I'm not the first one to notice this, but I've become convinced that Dick Cheney is the living embodiment of Mr. Burns, and their uncanny resemblance grows more bizarre every single day. Is it really such a stretch of the imagine to picture Cheney stealing candy from a baby and/or "wallowing in his own crapulence." I think not.

Plus, if you tie in the insatiable urge to promote nuclear power, a Machiavellian controlling streak and an insatiable urge to steal the sun, you've really got yourself an eerie coincidence. In fact, I think the entire Bush White House scarily parallels the world of "The Simpsons."

Mr. Smithers' Bush counterpart would inevitably be Ken Mehlman, the head of the RNC and a well-noted lackey. Mehlman is also widely, widely "rumored" to be a possible homersexual. Bush's Simpsonian doppelganger would be Ralph Wiggum. The son of a prominent member of the Springfield/Texas community, Wiggum and Bush are both known to spit proverbs like, "Me fail English? That's unpossible." Although prior to finding God and turning his back on Jim Beam, Bush would've been Barney Gumbel.

And who would play Donald Rumsfeld...quite easy. Herman, the one-armed owner of the Springfield gun shop. Because we all know that nothing says Donald Rumsfeld more than a slight chemical imbalance and a severe predilection for guns (may or not be true...guns sold separately.)

Naturally, Condoleeza Rice would be played by the comically obese comic book guy. Why, I'm not quite sure? But they certainly both suck and live in fantasies of complete delusion.


At 5:19 PM, Anonymous Stephanie Weiss said...

very funny grande weiss. I added your blog on my facebook websites so all my friends can read it! I will give you pumpkin next week. thanks.

At 6:32 PM, Anonymous People for the Use of Doppelganger said...

Thank you Jeff Weiss for your persistent use of the word "doppelganger." Like you, we are passionate about the word "doppelganger" and hope one day that it will be in almost all of your posts. So far you have used it 5 times, after the tenth we will send you a free "doppelganger tee-shirt"!

At 7:35 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

Hmm..the free doppelganger t-shirt intrigues me. Very much so. I confess to a frequent usage of the word but not because I'm trying to impress others with my vocabulary. Rather I have a sick passion for all words German, this includes zeitgeist, schadenfreude and volkswagon. When you are considering your next product expansion, I urge you to consider these sassy words. It's sure to become an instant success.

At 12:22 AM, Anonymous Matt said...

I ain't sayin he a red-state hater..

But Jeff's been bloggin 'bout some oil magnate faker...

(he's in need)

go 'head Jeff, go take them down..
go 'head Jeff, go write and clown..

I ain't sayin he a red-state hater..

But Jeff's been bloggin 'bout some oil magnate faker..

(I've got to leave)

At 1:04 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

well played Matt, well played


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