The Passion of the Weiss

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick. But most of the time, I don't rhyme.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

What Are You Kids, On Dope?

Mr. Hand, the supremely amazing teacher from "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" once posed an pressing question to the high schoolers assembled in his classroom: what are you kids, on dope?

Now, as someone who has repeatedly confessed to his predilection for "talking to Samson," I find no problem with the intake of illegal but fun self-medication. However, after scrutinizing the top search results on MSNBC's home page, I've become convinced that apparently everyone else is way more heavily drugged than I am. Suddenly, I feel quite Mormon. Praise Joseph Smith, praise him.

Here is what America is currently interested in (this is actually legit):

Top 5 Searches
1. Gary Glitter
2. Kimberly Stewart
3. Xbox 360
4. Eddie Guerrero
5. Eco bra

Yes. Garry Glitter is currently the most searched for man in America. Apparently, an alleged pedophile/ one hit wonder rock has piqued the American interest like nothing else since Gary Condit (what good memories and long-lasting attention spans we have...wait a minute...what was I writing about again).

No. 2, of course is celebrity imposter Kim Stewart. And No. 3 is the XBox. I believe this says more about the state of the American zeitgeist than anyone could ever really hope to process.
Oh yeah and by the way. Is it really so suprising that Garry Glitter got busted for allegedly having sex with a 12-year old Asian girl. Check out the above cover of his greatest hits album (which is an oxymoron onto iteself). Enough said.


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